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This post is going to take me forever to write properlie, [so I’m not going to do it] but sometimes it’s more important to write a thing than it is to do it right? Although my mother would say that if a thing is worth doing it’s worth doing right… and she’s not wrong, but I digress…

And I’m going to, (digress, is what i’m going to do. [it’s been explained to me that having a conversation with me is difficult because i treat the person I’m talking to like they can hear the thoughts in my head. people often shout context at me, for what seems to be no particular reason]) which is what is going to make this post hard. I just finished Turtles All The Way Down, which I loved.  It is hands down, my favorite John Green book.

And it’s definitelie making the list of one of my favorite books period.

And like all good books, it has made me think… way too much. Reading… my escape from my brain and the path back into it. digressing… so John Green…

An author isn’t just an author, they’re your history with that author. And before I’d ever read a single book by John Green, I’d watched years of a videoblog, starring him and his brother Hank, in a few months. I started watching seven or eight years ago now, which seems like forever, [but isn’t] and I caught up on the backlog in an astoundingly short period of time. And then I read the books.

And I like them, but I never LOVED them, to me John Green was a vlogger and then a podcaster, and prollie he’d be unhappie to be thought of that way, but it’s the truth.

And that’s why it’s important that I tell you the other thing about John Green, which is that he has a brother. And you’re like duh. You said. But if I’m honest, I don’t always think of them separatelie. They’re each one half of an everlasting conversation. Hank is excitable and sciencie and passionate. John is thoughtful and cautious and passionate (in a completelie different way [which I realize is unhelpful, but I’m not going to go paging through a thesaurus in the middle of the night to help you out with this])

Anyways, So there’s John Green and here’s his new book. Dedicated to his children. About mental illness and the way we think about ourselves, and about stories. And for me it is a constellation. (which is relevant to the book)

[also it makes me think of this quote from High Fidelity about spookilie relevant quotes… one sec…

“(for a while, I regarded just about any song in which somebody had lost somebody else as spookily relevant, which, as that covers the whole of pop music, and as I worked in a record shop, meant I felt pretty spooked more or less the whole time),” {Nick Hornby, High Fidelity}

… so to me the whole of this book feels spookilie relevant.

There’s thoughts in it that are my favorite thoughts from other books, reworded and thunk in a new way. And I guess that’s a constellation too, because all of my favorite books are connected by the little parts of them I love. (there’s a quote about that too… Italo Calvino this time… if I keep copie/pasting quotes we’ll be at this all night. GOOGLE: Italo Calvino Invisible Cities Ersilia… or Erlisia… it’s been a bit)

I know that purpose of writing is to put your thoughts in order. because once you pin them to the page you can go back and correct and edit and rearrange. I think John Green is particularlie excellent with that. Like he is clearlie having some majical love affair with the english language. He uses it… i dunno… I was gonna say like a sword, but I think if we’re sticking with analogy then he uses it like a magic wand from a world where magic is both a study and an art. Like you can have a gift for it, but you need to practice and study. Which, to completelie destroy a failing analogy is probablie exactlie the case.

I digressed again, from the point I was attempting to make which is that if I edited this. and made it beautiful it would be better… and certainlie more beautiful, but slightlie less honest.

But John Green has managed to make Turtles (which is what I’m calling it now cause fuck that title is long) both beautiful and honest. [there’s a quote about that too you know… truth is beauty, etc, etc.]

And speaking of quotes…

The title quote. I’ve known that storie for a long time, because and this is important, Terry Pratchett is my favorite author. and if you don’t know why that’s relevant, go find out. It’s worth your time.

I can’t even touch on everything I loved about this book, because franklie it would involve dissecting each sentence with a forceps.  And no one would enjoy that who hadn’t read the book.

And i’ve digressed to the point where I’ve talked myself out of writing this. Which is how this usually goes.  I guess what I want to say is that we are, none of us, just this one thing. We are just one half of a conversation. That you can be Aza AND Daisy. That we are all just turtles all the way down…

But which one is real?


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#theproblemwithboys #johngreen #turtlesallthewaydown #🐢🐢🐢🐢 #quotes

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Because I want it

I love YNAB. I’m a convert. YNAB has changed my life in under a year. I’m not going to say it hasn’t been work, but I’ve been working on this for decades and nothing has made my financial situation better than YNAB.

And I watch White Board Wednesdays now. The one this week was called the Why behind the buy. and in it he talks about a video by some guy called Dan Sullivan who’s supposedly famous, but I’ve never heard of him… not the point.

The point is that Dan Sullivan via Jesse from YNAB tells me in this video that it is A OK to say I want it because I want it. To me this is unbearable.

The question I always want the answer to is why. And I know it’s not an easy question. I know there’s never a simple answer, but i do think it IS important to at least try to answer it.

Because is always part of that. If we understood everything the world would be a different place, but we should at least try.

Why do I buy toilet paper from Who Gives A Crap? They deliver to me door. (It’s convenient) They donate to charity. (I feel good about myself.) They support a cause I’m a huge fan of (It make me happy to give them my money) It isn’t any more expensive than toilet paper at the store. (It’s not costing me anything)

Are there cons?  Sure.  the TP isn’t QUITE as soft as the stuff I used to buy (but maybe it’s better for my old pipes) The carbon emissions from shipping are prollie huge. (so I’m not saving the world with my purchase.  And so you can erase the cons with because I want to.

So should because I want it be a valid reason? Sure.  But at least KNOW what the other ones are. Pretend you’re rational.

THe human animal is not naturallie rational. It is something we have to work at. AND WE SHOULD… but why?

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