So I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to grow up, or be grown up. What adulthood entails and how my life has reallie changed. This mostlie involves stress.
So when I was younger I was in a club… not an actual club, but a group of friends who liked to pretend we were a club. Or maybe I just liked to pretend we were a club. I would take attendance. I made my own attendance sheet. The last month on it was Dec 1999, because to me at that time, that was as far as I could conceive. Time after that did not exist… and then one year I turned 15 and lo and behold it was the year 2000. And now it is easie for me to understand that one day I will be 30 or 50 or 65…
Ok, not actuallie easie, but I can do it with some preparation and a beer. And this is a big difference. I’ve always had trouble with time. When is now, what happened yesterday, where do you see yourself in five years… in ten years. These were impossible questions. Now…
Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2011 the day before Thanksgiving. I came home from work, slept, watched some how I met your mother and went out to dinner with Timmie and his ‘rents. I see my self in a house that I own, hopefullie with Timmie… maybe even doin’ the big M. Ok… ten is still prettie hard… in ten years I will be 36. That’s prettie old. And this starts to hit on my other stressor about getting older.
So we all have these preconceived notions of what it means to get older. You get a full time job you buy a house you get married you have kids and stay in on friday nights eating pizza and watching sitcoms. (I’m honestlie ok with the pizza and sitcoms bit. I’m prettie lazie)
I geuss I’m trying to talk about my stress over adulthood in a meaningful way and failing.
I pay my bills… mostlie on time. I work a full time job that I mostlie enjoy (although the repetitive nature of the job is, I’m sure, what gets people down in the long run). I’m in a relationship that I can see lasting for awhile. I’m in the process of trying to buy a house.
I geuss it still scared me though. I don’t feel old enough for all this. and the fear is where the stress is. So I geuss I’ve always wondered what my big fear is. And I think It’s being grown up. And so, in honor of th holiday season, and being grown up I’d like to bitch about the sappie song named in the blog title…
It’s all about peace and wars ending and only good things ever happening and much like the song where they wish it was Christmas everyday, it seems asinine. I love Christmas. I believe in Santa Clause, but you shouldn’t use your Christmas wishes for stupid things.
So MY grown up Christmas List…
A Down Payment (About 3 grand should do it)
A new transmission (some tires, and inspection, and an oil change while you’re at it)
Some one to figure out my retirement plan
At least one weekend of sitting on the couch drinking beer, eating sushi and and watching How I Met Your Mother.
I think the things that people reallie want for Christmas are often quite expensive or not very tangible. That always makes things hard. And knowing what people want is hard too.
We’re taught not to be greedie and not to ask people for things and then every year a whole slew of people come to us and say… so what do you want?
I want a copie of The Phantom Tollbooth.
I want a a white Christmas.
I would reallie like for the people I love to get what they want.
What they reallie want. So take five minutes. Think about this… and send me an e-mail.
I am SO not kidding.