I’m good with facts and statistics and all kinds of knowledge that a person might write down. I know the names of bones and various types of cables. I know the appropriate values for various chemicals in your body and the names of the various brushes one might use on a horse. I’m good with skills you learn with your body. I can lay tile, plumb and insert an IV with the kind of confidence one should only have after years of practice.
I have trouble with the stuff that’s never really taught. The stuff we’re socialized to know. The proper sequence of events involved in dating and marrying and having children. The proper things that you can talk about in public. The stuff that you should think is right and normal.
I know people think I’m wierd and some even think I’m crazie, but I’tve never been able to get a handle on preciselie why and I think it has something to do with this.
If someone says something in public that they shouldn’t everyone around them knows immeadiatlie. But they wouldn’t say anything because it’s not polite. THey’d think that person was wierd, but that person would never know. Because there are things that it’s rude to talk about. People’s genders, or their sexual preferences or their religion or their beliefs. Because these are things you can’t ask questions about. It is considered, in some indefinable way, rude. I’ve picked this up over the course of 26 years, but I still have trouble not asking the questions and I’m definately not sure why it’s rude.
When you want to do better on a test you learn all the material possible about the subject. If you want to learn a skill you learn every possible way of doing it and each and every step, but when you want to learn about people you’re handycapped by all the things that it just isn’t right to ask.
It’s more polite for me to ask when someone’s last bowel movement was than how they feel about the existence of god or what their stance on abortion might be. I geuss because it’d be impossible for me to disagree with the information found in the first answer but not with the second answer. And disagreement is in some ways a threat and people don’t want to be threatened.
But how are you supposed to understand something that no one will explain? If it’s wrong to eat a chicken egg because the chicken never told you you could, is it not equallie wrong to eat yeast or broccolli? If you were born with two X chromosomes but have the physical appearance of a male and are in a sexual relationship with another male are you technically straight? Do catholics really believe that when they take communion they are eating the actual body of christ and not matza and wine? And if they do, does it ever freak them out?
And I realize that all my questions and wonderings pertain to the particular differences in human culture and language. And I suppose if everyone in a relationship was just a person in love it wouldn’t matter if you were gay or straight, but it still wouldn’t explain why one person found only men attractive, or another only women, and another both. It wouldn’t explain why two groups who disagree on what an outsider might consider very minor points both firmly believe that the other group and all it’s followers are to be condemed for an eternity. It doesn’t explain why people chose certain diets or lifestyles. Why some people love to go to the gym ans why others can’t even be bothered to walk to the grocery store a block from their house.
And I geuss my trouble is that I want to know the why of everything. I always think about the whys of everything I do. But I’ve realized that alot of people don’t and if you ask them why they’ll say they don’t know, or even worse in my view that they had no particular reason. But people always have reasons for doing things. Even things that they might not nessicarily choose I think reasons exist.
I always feel like human beings are fairly reasonable and therefore have reasons. I don’t even care if they are sensible reasons. I just want to know why. And that’s one question that no one ever wants to answer.