There are things that are considered small talk (weather, jobs, hobbies, television shows) and there are things that are not (politics, religion, barbeque, chili). I’m going to talk about two of the biggies: religion and chili.
Chili is a heated (spicy, warm, mouth watering) topic. It involves all sort of issues, the amount of beans (no beans, some beans, lots of beans), the type of meat (beef, pork, chicken, meatloaf meat), the thickness of the sauce, the addition of spices, the spices, and on and on and on (etc.). But the thing is everyone has a preference. People always have a chili that is “The Best” and before it all others (however delicious) fail.
And yet I have come up with a chili recipe that none can loathe and that is because it is made entirely of leftovers. So without further ado (or keystrokes), I give you
Take some meat out of your freezer (1.67 lbs ground beef pork veal) defrost it in a manner that makes you cheery. Hack it into bite size gobs and fry it up in a pan. Drain and put in a crock pot. In the back of your cabinet there is at least one can of beans (1 14 oz can red kidney beans, 1 14 oz. can white kidney beans) open, drain and add to crock pot. Now open your fridge (this part is important) and stare into it’s mysterious depths. Pull out anything you think is still edible and might be good in chili (1 small tupperware corn off the cob, 1 half baggie of chopped up carrots, 1 half roasted red pepper, 2 cloves of garlic, a third, because you got excited) and put it in the crock pot. Now for the sauce. Open your cabinet again and stare at your assorted sauces and tomato products, you can use anything (be creative). If you’re out of spaghetti sauce try water alot of ketchup, and some hot sauce. Go to town (Tabsaco Smoked Chipotle Sauce, 1 16 oz. can Zesty tomato sauce). Then the spices, put a little bit of everything in (fistful of brown sugar, two fistfuls of cilantro, as much barbeque spice as you can convenientlie shake out, northwestrn spice, a dash of ginger), it’ll taste awesome (I swear). Then top it off with a beer, half for the chili, half for you (you worked hard). Stir the bejesus out of it all (mix it up). Now turn your crock pot on and go away. Seriously, leave (go to a movie, out for a walk, fishing).
When you return you will have chili, and it will be good, and if you follow this recipe you’ll never get bored, and your chili will always be different. You can put it on noodles, or rice, or any bread (without mold) you happen to have.
And now for my next serious subject. Religion (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Scientology, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Church of the Subgenius, into infinity). There’s something for everyone. I’ve never considered myself particularly religious. I’m honestly an athiest, but tonight as I was laying with my forhead pressed to a mat (child’s pose) in the basement of the gym (Sweat), practicing my ujjayi breath and being in the moment that I realized that I go to church every week. Once a week, every week for one hour I go off to yoga class.
You spend your time there thinking about yourself. About your body (pains, pleasures, postition), about your mind (stresses, distractions, problems, strengths), about your heart (loves, desires, needs). You work to understand how they all fit togehter in a way you can live with. And the thing is that even though when you leave you’re the same person with the same problems and frailties, you understand how maybe you can do something about them, or that even if you can’t maybe this is how things need to be for right now. You feel good (amazing, flawless, powerful).
And if that’s not religion, well then I’m not really sure what the word means.