Be a (pen)pal…

I’ve started writing you letters again.  It’s like keeping a diary except all addressed to you.  It’s scary because I know I should only be worrying about school right now, but I’m always thinking about you.  It’s so unfair, that you mean so much to me.  I always think that I’m over the part of me that hates loving you so much, but it shows up in sneakie ways.

Sometimes I try to hurt you… on purpose… just to make sure I can.  That’s insane I know.. why would I want to hurt you?  But I"m terrified all the time.  I don’t want to be… but I don’t know how to love you as much as I do, without seeming desperate or needie or too much… I want to be with you… not always, but often.  I want to sleep next to you. 

I want to be able to kiss you whereever, whenever I want…

I hope this is real… and it scares me that I still want you this badlie.

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About SleepieBear

Opinions are my own. Facts are poorly checked. (Unless cited.) Use your brains.
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